One thing that the national pundits don’t acknowledge it that Iowa can gain some serious ground on Texas by garnering more votes in the Harris and the Coaches polls.  If we can come out and dominate Indiana and put up a convincing score, the poll voters that don’t believe will start to move us up. 

The reason I believe this will happen is that while the injuries that we sustained in the MSU game are costly, it will help provide continuity to our offense.  With the loss of Colin Sandeman, the Hawkeyes will now have our 3 most dominant receivers on the field most of the time.  DJK, Marvin McNutt and Tony Moeaki are Ricky’s favorite targets. They will all have to be accounted for on every passing play. Trey Stross is no slouch either.

With the loss of Dace Richardson, Coach Ferentz will not be able to shuffle the line during the game and this will lead to more continuity in the running game.  True Freshman Brandon Wegher will reap the rewards of this and will finally have his first chance to get “lathered up” since the Iowa State game.  The Iowa Hawk Blog looks for him to be in the 150 yard range with 2 touchdowns.

Indiana’s offense is explosive but our defense, well what can I say?  We don’t need to talk stats this week.  I see this game ending in a blowout Iowa 38 Indiana 13.  Captain Kirk wins with sexy “style points”.

As an added bonus for the gambling crowd, the five star lock of the week is MSU -3.5 @ Minnesota.  The Golden Gophers are in for another beating.

Our Hawkeyes are teetering on top of the world of college football.  I feel like I am dreaming.  Can it really be true? After the years of suffering (2005 -2007) the Iowa Hawkeyes are officially back.  Iowa has the second longest winning streak in the nation at 11 straight.  Iowa is ranked #6 in the BCS just a hair behind Cincinnati and the Boise State juggernaut.  Iowa will surely pass these two teams due to strength of schedule and they will garner more respect from the voters as the Hawkeyes continue to win. Then all Iowa needs is a Texas loss and we are in the big show against the mighty SEC.

Ahh, the wild musings of a Hawkeye fan.  I realize Iowa has a lot of winning to do but rest assured, it will continue this week as the Iowa Hawkeyes travel to East Lansing to meet the under achieving (what a surprise) Michigan State Spartans.  The Iowa Hawkeyes are favored by a point.  The chatter coming out of Sparta is just like every other team we have played.  You hear things like, “Iowa is not an elite team” or “The Hawkeye defense is just not that good, Cousins will shred them”.  I really like Cousin’s as a QB but he is going up against one of the best secondaries in the nation.  Michigan State will struggle to run and will be forced to throw.  That is when Iowa’s defensive line starts putting the hurt on Cousins and forcing bad decisions. 

On the other side, Michigan State’s weakness appears to be their secondary and that plays right into Iowa’s strength, the opportunistic passing game.  Sparty has given up 1651 passing yards in 7 contests and has yielded only 4 picks.  To put that in perspective, Iowa leads the nation with 15 ints and lowly Illinois has 3 picks.

I refuse to wake up from this wonderful dream. The Hawkeye dream of a National Championship will not die this weekend.  Iowa has not blown anyone out since they visited Ames.  Look for the Hawkeyes to pick up a few of those style points that Captain Kirk says they are not trying for. 

To quote Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore, “Sparty Don’t Pinch”. 

All the pundits feel like Florida State is so superior to this slow plodding bunch of dairy farmers from Madison.  I also think that Florida State does not respect the Badgers either.  This is Wisconsin’s chance to make a positive out of an otherwise disappointing season.  Take the Badgers and the points.

Alamo Bowl – Northwestern (+13) vs. Missouri

Missouri and Chase Daniel have to be the most overrated team in the nation and we see the continued lack of respect for the Big Ten in this spread.  Missouri is disappointed and probably does not want to be playing in this bowl.  Fitzgerald’s Wildcats will be ready and if they lose it won’t be by much.  Take Northwestern and the points.

Insight Bowl – Kansas vs. Minnesota (+10)

Minnesota sucks — take the Jayhawks.

Outback Bowl – Iowa vs. South Carolina (+3.5)

Only USC has allowed less touchdowns the vaunted Iowa defense (16 TDS allowed).  Iowa wins big as Shonn Greene runs wild.  We will miss you Shonn.

Capital One Bowl – Michigan State (+8) vs. Georgia

Ouch!  UGA the bulldog will be happy.  Michigan State did not finish the season very well. 

Rose Bowl – Penn State (+10) vs. USC

I really want Penn State to win this game but I don’t see how it can happen.  USC wins big as the best program in the nation over the last seven years embarrasses another foe in a bowl game.  Good luck Joe PA

Fiesta Bowl – Ohio State (+8.5) vs. Texas

Can the Buckeyes right the ship and earn the respect that they have lost over the last few years?  I don’t think so.  I think they are a year away as the team with the more experienced QB wins the game.  I think OSU keeps it close though so take the Scarlet and Crimson. 

I had the good fortune of attending the Iowa vs. Bryant University game last night.  It had been at least 15 years since I had set foot in Carver Hawkeye Arena.  I watched from afar as the Tom Davis era died a slow death and grew excited as the Steve Alford era began what we all felt would be a golden era of Iowa Basketball. 

We were all wrong on that one.  I am still trying to get the rash of that snake oil off me.  I knew things had gotten bad but wow, I had not realized that Stevie had burnt the thing to the ground.  On a Friday night in Iowa City, Iowa (wind chill 5 degrees) with a local hero, Matt Gatens as the leading scorer, the arena was half full at best. 

I realize that Bryant University is not Illinois, hell they are not even the Citadel but other than high school sports, there is not much else that the residents of “the corridor” should be doing.  The economy is not an excuse, tickets are $26. 

There was no energy in Carver Hawkeye Arena.  The place needs a dose of Kinnick.  If you are considering going, don’t worry, there is not a security guard that is not part of the AARP crowd.  Bring your flasks and have a good time.  Don’t let the blue haired season ticket holders scare you away.  I don’t condone drinking and driving, Iowa City has an abundance of cheap cabs.

The Good News:

Hawkeye Basketball is rising.   We have a young and very talented team.  I saw an Iowa team that ran a disciplined offense.  They are very unselfish, the ball touches everyone’s hands and rarely does a shot go up that is not wide open.  Gatens is a beast, I think he only missed 3 shots and that includes pre game warm ups.  Peterson is silky smooth and seems to be able to get to the hole with ease.  Tucker has the fastest release on a 3 point shot that I have ever seen, rebounds well for a guard and is a dead eye from three point land.   Tate works hard in the middle as he did last year. 

The best thing about this team, they do not whine about calls that don’t go their way.  That is what I hated about Alford, I always felt it infected his teams and contributed to a losing attitude.  This team may be a year away from the NCAA tournament but coach Todd Lickliter is putting a team on the floor we should be proud of and support in the stands.  

Tonight is no time to focus on the Iowa Hawkeye basketball team dropping two of their last three games.  We will instead spend our time investigating a more pressing issue… Hawkeye sex in a Metrodome restroom.  Although the story of Lois Feldman and Ross Walsh’s Metrodome tryst may be “yesterday’s news,” the aftermath has proven to be priceless. 

Most of us have heard the story by now.  Lois Feldman, 38, and Ross Walsh, 26, were cited for indecent conduct for having sex in a men’s restroom during Iowa’s 55-0 trouncing of Minnesota.  A security guard tipped off University of Minnesota police as a crowd of intoxicated fans gathered in the restroom to heckle Mr. Walsh’s haphazard performance.  When will the cell phone video of this be posted to YouTube?  Inquiring Hawkeye fans want to know. 

Feldman, a married mother of three, initially gave police a fake name and had to be identified by her husband before being released.  The Carroll, Iowa woman said she’d had so much wine before kickoff that she doesn’t remember walking into a men’s restroom, the man she had sex with in a stall or the police opening the door.  “I don’t know who this man is,” she said Wednesday. “I just found out his name in the paper last night.”  We can’t make this stuff up!

Feldman said she was fired Wednesday morning from an assisted living center where she had been an administrator. She said her husband, Kelly, has been supportive. According to Lois he faults himself for not going with her when she left her seat to use the restroom before halftime. 

Editor’s Tip:  Fellas never let your woman use the restroom alone… you never know when she’ll end up getting a rear admiral against a cinder block restroom wall.  It is not her fault- it’s a compulsion.  Lesson learned.

In a related story, Viagra sales at the Carroll assisted living facility’s pharmacy have dropped by 84%.  Male residents are protesting the firing calling Feldman’s termination “without cause”.

Details about Ross Walsh have been slower to emerge.  It can be said many of us were very disappointed when Ross’ name was released.  At least 80% of male Hawkeye fans whole-heartedly believed they would hear the name of one of their buddies when the police report came out.  It is safe to say most (if not all) were disappointed.

We now know that Ross is a resident of Linden, Iowa.  He was attending the game with his girlfriend.  After viewing his outdated MySpace page, we were as surprised as you are to hear he had a girlfriend (excluding Feldman.)  Player.

In our constant quest for the truth, we have done our research and come up with our own theory as to the real story surrounding the incident.  The following is our account of what may have transpired leading up to the bathroom debauchery. 

Sometime in early 2007 Mr. Walsh was not exactly “scoring” with the females at his local Linden watering hole.  Something about his affinity for boxed wines and incessant quoting of the movie “Sideways” had turned the Linden ladies against him.  He decided to put up a MySpace page to increase his odds of landing his first date.  Ross thinks his best bet is to post primarily inebriated photos of himself in his finest Hawkeye apparel.  Residing in Cyclone country his attempt failed miserably.

By February he realized that MySpace was not getting him the response he expected (or any response for that matter).  He then created an account with BuckFuddiez.com to find himself local ladies looking to party.  Enter Lois Feldman.

Mrs. Feldman was growing weary from the daily diaper changing drudgery of her job at the nursing home.  She would constantly question whether she got married “too young,” and sometimes felt younger than the three kids she was raising.  She knew she could run wild on soft husband Kelly with little or no consequence.  In a random act of defiance she jumped on the work computer and created a BuckFuddiez account.  The stage was set.

In an attempt to look more “Metropolitan,” both Feldman and Walsh listed their city of residence as “DesMoines.” Upon chatting they realized they lived a mere 63 miles from one another.  Lois was swept off her feet by Ross perfect timing and delivery of “You Might Be a Redneck” jokes.  She laid awake nights thinking “Where did he learn to stamp homemade soap so perfectly?”  They decided to meet at the Coon Rapids Super 8 to express their growing passions.

Upon arrival, Lois was sorely disappointed to realize Mr. Walsh looked nothing like Brad Pitt’s Fight Club photo he submitted to BuckFuddiez.  She had been scammed worse than the time she thought she won the Nigerian lottery. 

The realization hit Mrs. Feldman hard that she had spent $48 to fill up the minivan for the trip.  Lois wanted to get her money worth and decided to overlook the deceit.  She reluctantly kicked off her yellow Crocs and climbed onto the chaw-stained polyester bedspread.  Ross broke out the Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill and nature took its course. 

Although sorely disappointed with his performance, Lois begrudgingly agreed to take Ross’ number.  They continued to meet whenever Feldman got to the point she could not administer one more “Viagra efficiency” test at the home.  “Those guys will promise anything just to get a peek,” she would tell herself, “I still have not gotten that ’88 Impala I was promised by Mr. Parker.”  Both Lois and Ross giggle with anticipation upon learning they will both be taking their annual vacation in The Land of 10,000 Lakes.

 Simulated game day text conversation:

Ross (11:08AM): Did you get the box of Franzia I sent to your work?

Lois (12:32PM): Just cracked it open and its gr8.

Ross (1:16PM): That stuff is pricey but its one of my favorites.  Save me some.

Ross (2:12PM):  The faintest soupcon of asparagus and just a flutter of nutty Edam cheese.

Lois (4:16PM):  I polishd off the box at the tailgte prty. Kelly thout it was from a pateint. LOL

Ross (5:43PM): I wish Linden girls knew good wine.

Lois (6:48PM): Im in secton 56G. Whre r u? Going 2 puke. Meet me at sectin 56 shitter- brng hot dog im hngry.

The couple subsequently met up in the restroom and the rest is (well-publicized) history.  Although completely based on Kettle-One-inspired-speculation, that is the Iowa Hawk Blog account of what happened leading up to Ross’ lackluster restroom performance.  Feel free to comment with your own theories!

**Although the accounts of the arrest of Hawkeye Fans Lois Feldman and Ross Walsh for having sex in a Metrodome restroom are based on published facts, all accounts of events surrounding the arrest were completely fabricated for comedic purposes.  They are purely the opinions of the editors of the Iowa Hawk Blog, and have no real basis in reality. **

It sure is nice that Iowa is going to a decent bowl this year.  I think that this team is going to destroy whatever team that they face.  They play hungry and they hit hard.  PSU and OSU appear to be BCS locks unless Boise State could sneak in over OSU.  That would be a very unlikely scenario.  So then you have MSU probably going to the Capital One Bowl with Iowa going to the Outback Bowl against South Carolina, LSU or Ole Miss.  Any of those teams would be a sweet matchup on New Year’s Day.  Who’s Northwestern?  Did we play them?

It also does not look like Shonn Greene is going to get any Heisman love, not even an invite.  Well, I guess he will just have to take it out on one of those speedy teams from the SEC.  Does anyone remember what Fred Russell did to Florida?  How bout Sam Brownlee against LSU?  Well at least the pass protection by Sam was excellent.

Coming off a few tough losses, the Golden Gophers have generally looked tough this season.  The Hawkeyes have looked like a team with virtually unlimited potential, but have been shaky when it came to closing out games.  Tonight they set the record straight with a 55-0 trouncing of Minnesota.

It could be argued that the Hawkeyes are the strongest four-loss team in the nation.  With their biggest loss of the year being 5 points it begs the question what if.  Are the Hawkeyes the middle-of-the-road team that lost three straight or are they the top 15 (possibly top 10) team that showed up the second half of the season?  I like to believe they are the latter.

The Hawks could have laid down after their three straight losses, but they refused.  They gave us 5 out of 6 wins to close out the season including a victory over number 3 Penn State and tonight’s punishing win over Minnesota.  The Hawks refused to throw in the towel and demonstrated they were a force to be reckoned with.

Could the Iowa Hawkeyes have had a ten win season and a top ten finish- absolutely.  The truth is they deserved it.  Do the Hawkeyes have the potential to win the Big Ten next year?  Without a doubt.  Now is not a time to consider what could have been.  It is time to savor our victories, and be proud of a team that demonstrated what it means to never give up.

Thanks to all of the Hawkeye players and coaches for hanging in there and making a season you should all be proud of.  Thank you for sending the Metrodome off with a fitting end.  The only thing that could have made the victory any sweeter would be to have seen Hawk fans carry the goal posts up the stairs one final time.  Hawkeye fans can be tough critics, but I for one could not be more proud of the heart of this year’s team.  You gave us one to remember.  Welcome home Floyd!

Disagree?  Forum is waiting for your responses!

The old lady dropped us off on the edge of campus as we took a trip down memory lane weaving in and out of some of our old haunts leaving a trail of empty beer bottles and shot glasses.  We finally made it to Kinnick stadium stopped by a gracious tailgate and found a way to our seats. 

We had some rock star seats to this game as I felt the need to repay my cousin who gave up a night of vice in Las Vegas to help with the move.  What a great group we sat around.  We had a couple of Penn State fans that were actually pretty cool, 2 rowdy graduates from the class of 81 who didn’t mind passing the flask(ours) around, Marla the cool lady who had to put up with us all who had a regular seat and a another guy who was friendly but would only Bogart his flask. 

The atmosphere at Kinnick was electric.  It was cold, but not too windy on the visitor’s side of the stadium.  I think everyone had a lot of hope last Saturday and the Hawks did not disappoint.  The crowd was absolutely nuts, it reminded me of 2002 in the Metrodome.

The back and forth battle took an ugly turn when we roughed the punter which I felt was a bad coaching move to even go after it, but the crowd and the defense dialed it up.  Murray had the stones to kick the field goal, Marla got lifted up and into our row and the rest is history.

The Iowa Hawkeyes have a very talented team and while I will never forget the game and realize how much fun being an Iowa fan is you have to wonder what could have been.  But as one well dressed booster told me on the way out of Kinnick, “I know the staff as made some mistakes but just enjoy the win.”

We sure did.

Do I want the Hawkeyes to pull off a miraculous win, or would I prefer a demoralizing loss that leads to much needed change?  Do I want to lay my life savings on a ridiculously low 7.5 point spread (I live in Vegas- its legal), or do I want to believe that the Hawkeyes have a chance.  Do I want to believe that Ferentz has what it takes to coach a brilliant game, or acknowledge the fact he was shown up by 3-time “Unnecessarily Cocky Assbag” award winner Ron Zook.  Where to begin?

Lets start from the top.  After big wins over Wisconsin and Indiana, Hawkeye fans were energized at the prospect that Ferentz had finally righted the ship.  Last weekend’s loss to 4-4 Illinois was a complete demoralizer.  Between Zook’s shitty grin and Ferentz’s compulsive gum chewing, fans witnessed a polo-sporting battle for the Big Ten’s biggest disappointment.

That’s what shocked me the most about the 7.5 point spread for this Saturday’s game.  What respectable gambler could not make this his “lock of the week?” Based on records and ranks it seems like an indisputable pick.  I gave serious to laying (whats left of) my 401k on the game.  After all, if Penn State lives up to expectations I would come out a huge winner.  If Iowa decides to play up to potential and win, I am still a happy camper.  Yet there is still that grey zone where Iowa loses by a touchdown or less and makes a loser of everyone.  A scenario we have all encountered more than once.  In my gut something tells me the Hawks still have a trick up their sleeve.

So here we go.  Number 3 Penn State rolls in to Iowa this Saturday afternoon.  The Nittany Lions have something to prove after being snubbed by the BCS.  The Hawkeyes have something to prove after being embarrassed by the Zookettes.  I am going to be honest.  I kept my money in the bank.  I think the Hawkeyes come out on top in a stunner (if they lose I will root against them for the rest of the season.)  28-24 HAWKS WIN!